HeartfuleEdge

I had nothing left to lose. It's my world. It's my life. It's just me I and myself.

I told myself these since the first day I started my lone ranger journey. Story behind is just to tell myself to hold up and be strong. Since then kept telling myself that they dont know you and you dont know them, just go ahead and ask and talk to them, you had got nothing to lose anymore. 

I learned along the way, equipped myself not to be easily broken down. Even towards people I know and they know me (of cause they didnt know me too well), Now i dont mind and dont care what people said what people think of me, let them whisper, let them judge, let them said whatever they want, I had got nothing to lose. The worst case is I can just leave with a firm and solid reason. They are gonna regret for not having me. I can always survive no matter where I go. 

I only see my goal, I dont believe in failure. I only see my hardwork, I dont believe in luck. I will not prove to people bout myself, I will only prove to myself. Just recently, A told me this, "when you just joined and hit target first few months everyone think that you are having junior luck and so do I. (At the beginning they always told me is junior luck but deep down my heart only I know is all hardwork, I kept quite and just smiled away and knocked my head seems agreed with them) But after that you consistently hit target every month, I know is all hardwork not luck." I almost wanna cry in my heart at that moment, finally someone realized the fact and recognized my hardwork all these while. 

I know it might be just a rainbow after the rain, it will fade away when the rain dry. Just like firework, the moment it shine is always beautiful and shine like no one else, it will anyhow still finish and go. Is okay if my rainbow faded away nor my fireworks finished and gone, I can always survive. There are so much of things I can still do in my life in this world. 

Like I told Dr Chua today, "I'm very stubborn. Always very stubborn on the things that I see and I believe." He said, "this stubborn is good" (by the way, he sort of apologized and felt sorry for not being a good supervisor and I had a tough master life. He told me that if I were to further, remember to get myself a good supervisor and never get one like him.)

Hey me! You are great, you are doing fine. Is okay to have a tough life, you grow stronger than the rest, you see more things in your life than the others. Is okay to cry pieces, you always hold up strong after cried, you still can smile again, get up when you fall down, Im so proud of you for who you are. 

Just take it as another jetlag night, a sleepless night is nothing.

Love & Cheers,

Me.I.Myself