HeartfuleEdge

It's been really really mess up week, a tough week - continuously 3 days met very very fussy clients, one of them is even a friend of mine.

Thats the craziest thing that I had ever done in my working life, I drove all the way to Ipoh, just to thought to share with that couple, I take her as my family, thats why i did more than what i will usually do for a client. I would have pass her case to my colleague to follow up, I'm not looking at the profit that I'm gonna gain as it doesn't really make a lot of differences, is just the simple heart truely wanna help a family. Sometimes you gave people all your effort and your best, doesn't mean that people will appreciate your sincerity. I love what I'm doing today, I'm using my expertise to create awareness and to educate public. Yes, everyone wanna earn money, but at least I'm doing something right. I always have my motto, I always remind myself - never lost myself, never become the person you hate the most. I gotta be very very motivated. The same week, nightmares continued from one night to another night, kept repeated the same dream again and again. I'm haunted by this nightmare. I thought I had let go. Deep down my heart, i know i wasn't that tough, i always challenged myself, i always pushed myself beyond my limit, but i know, i'm not good in study, not good in science, not good in independent, not good in so much of things. People around see me being very outstanding, very sociable. I wasn't until I have got no choice but to change. I'm tired for being so strong. People might laugh at me, why do you work freaking hard but in fact you should have got a better life with a partner. Why would you choose to suffer yourself? Yes, you might think of me that way, I hate being alone, I wish to pamper all the time, I wish someone is there always to help, When I'm really weak, I wish someone can tell me "is okay, you still have got me here, to be always there when you need me the most". I told myself i shouldn't been trapped into these anymore, I gotta reboot. No matter how many times I tell myself, I tried so hard to cheer myself, still I can't hold up. I feel like I'm in pieces, poor pathetic pieces. 

真的像是以前看的那一篇绘文一样 “满腹的心酸苦事 又能向谁说去” 只好自己一个人狠狠咽下。我需要一个碎纸机，不，一个碎心酸心事机，难过的都把它们碎掉，不见了，那我应该就会好了。对不起，真的好累，可我只能向你诉说了。你是我最最忠实的听众，你绝对绝对不是我的情绪垃圾桶，没有人能比你更了解我了。谢谢你 谢谢你

"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going" 我一定要撑下去 走下去 走下去 ........